Healthy Partnerships and the Business of Meetings

By: Nicole Keeny

“Here’s the long and the short of it. I hate hockey, and I don’t like kids.” So says new coach Gordon Bombay in the cult classic movie The Mighty Ducks. A similar sentiment seems to sum up how most people feel about work meetings: I hate meetings, and I’m often not fond of the people in them.

Business leaders agree, however, that face-to-face meetings continue to be one of the best ways to motivate and lead. Meetings are inevitable, and often partnerships are fostered or damaged as a result. Whether you are the leader of the meeting or simply an attendee, you play a role in the partnership. How can you contribute to its health?

  1. Arrive promptly. The meeting is set to begin at 10:00 a.m. Sure, swinging in at 9:59 is technically arriving on time, but you are then left with no opportunity to connect with the other meeting participants prior to getting down to business. Building healthy partnerships starts in the moments before the meeting begins, where you can chat about your families, show an interest in one another’s lives, and generally be human. Yes, that will require talking rather than checking your email in the minutes before the meeting. Yes, you may need to break the silence of the room to start an actual conversation. Yes, if you are leading the meeting, you will need to be prepared early so you are free to focus on attendees as they arrive. We believe in you.

  1. Come prepared. When people know what to expect, the environment of the meeting is immediately more positive and orderly, which is certainly what you want in a healthy partnership.
    • Meeting agenda – If you are leading the meeting, send out a meeting agenda, preferably several days prior to the meeting but at least within 24 hours. If you are simply attending the meeting, be sure you have (actually) read the agenda before you arrive.
    • The right people – One of the reasons so many feel meetings are laborious and unproductive is because the right people are not necessarily in the right places. As a meeting leader, ensure those who are at the meeting truly need to be there. Consider specifically inviting those participants and making the meeting optional to others who may be part of the team but who are not necessarily involved in the matters being discussed.
    • Pre-meeting assignments/reading – Nothing makes people more distressed than having tasks given to them right before a big meeting. Ensure people know their responsibilities ahead of time and have the opportunity to complete them.
    • A/V – Is there any necessary A/V that needs to be tested? Is that Zoom link working? How about the projection equipment? Are you ready to screen share if called upon to do so?
  1. Ditch the devices. One of the main reasons meetings can be notoriously unproductive is people’s attempts to multitask during meetings. Presenter droning on about KPIs? Make a note in your phone of your to-do list, allowing yourself to feel productive and “still listen.” Colleague explaining new report submission procedures? Scroll through Instagram under the conference table. We get it. We, too, have heard the siren song of our devices during meetings. Here’s the thing, though. Computers, tablets, phones all provide the sense of “doing” something productive while actually making it so we are less Because you know what you really need in order to be productive? That information about report submission procedures and KPIs.

Here’s a crazy but research-backed idea: Take notes using pen and paper instead. But, you say, what if I am called upon to pull up a document during the meeting? Fine, bring your laptop, then—but leave the lid down until otherwise necessary. Your now single-tasking brain will thank you, and you may even find the meeting more enjoyable.

  1. Check your nonverbals. Rosanne J. Thomas states in her book Excuse Me: The Survival Guide to Modern Business Etiquette, “In face-to-face interactions, studies tell us that approximately 60 percent of communication is nonverbal, 30 percent is tone of voice, and only 10 percent is the words we say.” If over half of what we say is not truly anything we say, then we need to pay closer attention to our body language. In the world of education, some teachers have introduced the acronym S.L.A.N.T. to their students in an attempt to teach them the importance of nonverbal communication: Sit up. Lean forward. Ask and answer questions. Nod. Track the speaker. Each of these actions on its own is valuable, but when put together, the effect is dynamic. Suddenly, you appear to be on task, attentive, even—dare we say—interested.

(And here’s an extra psychology tidbit: Even if you fake interest at first, according to research you will become more engaged. “Fake it ‘til you make it” is actually valuable advice.)

  1. Communicate clearly. Just as in any relationship, healthy partnerships must include open lines of communication. Meetings can promote that communication when expectations are set up front, when meetings attempt to address only one or two major topics and discussions, and when leaders allow margin in the meeting agenda for questions and discussion. As Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” Partnerships will inevitably be healthier when all stakeholders are clearly informed and on the same page.

No matter your role in a meeting, you can contribute to the health of partnerships within your organization and with external stakeholders by employing these etiquette tips. And you might just find that the meetings you attend become true tools for success. After all, even Gordon Bombay ended up liking hockey, right?